23 February 2014

How to succeed in Library management : a new vocabulary

I have become aware of the lack of les mots justes for certain situations when writing about libraries, so I offer the following.  I hope you will find them useful, feel free to add your own.

Acupuncture – Proving to an irate and pompous patron that yes, that fine is quite correct

Ballweb – An application which will be of little use 6 months from now
Dustbowl – Unfortunate consequence of handling a brittle book 
Emphalibbing – Making It Quite Clear that you do More Than Stamp Books

Furstacker – The junior member of staff sent down to the basement 
Gaberdine - A style of presentation at conferences usually adopted by those who didn't rehearse their talk

Gin Alley – the route staff take around the library when closing down
Hollinesia – Leaving your email vacation message switched on after you are back at work

Introsunk – That induction session didn't go too well

Kittiwake – the moment you realise you've made a small error in a catalogue record

Leerwinkle -Suspicion that this visitor to the Library is not all he seems
Mehtsar – A less than inspiring leader

Negligee – A management statement designed to smooth over a blunder but which only succeeds in attracting more attention
Overdididiligence – Spending ten minutes looking through pages of sub-divisions in Dewey, only to find that the whole number is adequate

Rupert – a generic term for all male rare books librarians
Solo – having to drop to all fours to reach a book from the bottom shelf

Smuggle – the secret pleasure of not endorsing a colleague on Linked in

Sticker – The member of staff who still doesn’t quite get all this web stuff 
Treacle – Descriptive language used by management to cover a new process which also renders it unrecognisable to those who are actually working on it

Tricksheet – A set of instructions containing a deliberate error
Vistartle - The sudden appearance in the Library of a wealthy donor/senior member of management staff/group of 50 schoolchildren, about which you knew nothing

Whivvering – The feeling you get in a meeting when a decision is reached that you don’t agree with but you don’t know why


Thanks to Andy Priestner who sent these invaluable additions (not sure what kind of meetings he goes to) : 

Diddlesquatting - tweeting during an enquiry desk late duty cos you're too burnt out and tired for anything else

Futilorum - a long pointless meeting at which no actions are recorded whatsoever

Goadflam - a person who deliberately provokes the chair of a meeting
Oopsraffle - forgetting to award promised prizes to users who filled in the annual library survey

Twiddling - animatedly advocating the research value of Twitter

Previously in How to succeed in library management:

How I work 
Strategic planning
Time management

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